If you had to guess the way you would die and had to pick between a car accident and getting stuck by lightning, you would probably guess the car accident. Or, if you had to bet on whether you would lose all of your money at a black jack table or win a million at the slots, you would likely bet on the loss. You would make the decisions because the law of probabilities and statistics are on your side. But if you had to gamble on the reason why your man might leave being either you or him, chances are you would take the wrong position. See, the reason why men leave has to do with the level of attention we give them; therefore, we can say, fairly, that we are the reason they leave. This statement lacks acceptance, naturally.
When we look at the reason why men leave, we need to take an introspective approach. But let's narrow down this "attention" term. No two men are the same, so realistically no two men crave the same type of attention. While some want respect and a lot of interest from a woman, most want flat-out admiration.
Okay, the first thing we need to determine about our man (or the man that has just left and we don't know why) comes down to attention. More specifically, the type of attention our man craves (or craved). Since we would have the odds on our side by going with admiration, it makes sense to start here. The next natural question then is how do we show men that we admire them? (Note: we don't have to admire them in the literal sense, we simply need to show them that we admire them... see the difference?).
Most women will come up with a grab bag full of excuses for the reason why men leave. Excuses like he liked it better when I wore more make-up (making him a superficial jerk), excuses like he preferred when I wore mini-skirts instead of baggy sweat pants (making him a pervert), excuses like he gets angry because I don't laugh at his jokes anymore (making him a bad comic), and so on. Coming up with these common excuses essentially allows us to shift the blame when, in reality, it was always a superficial, perverted jerk who couldn't put a joke together if it came typed on a cue card. But you see, he was always this way. And this is where we need to weigh whether fake-laughing at his jokes is really worth the effort in keeping him.
Staying on track with admiration, we can begin to understand why some men stray from the relationship and find interest in other women. Often, these other women lack our intellect (she giggles like a schoolgirl all the time), she looks she was hired by the hour (her outfits barely cover her undergarments), and she is either jail-bait, has had enough plastic surgery to provide toys for an entire third-world country, or wear more make-up in a single day than we use in an entire month. Of course, this generalization may seem unflattering (it is intentionally so) but this is how most women describe that "other" woman. We have all heard it.
Ultimately, the reason why men leave has more to do with their desires and cravings for attention, for admiration. At one point in time, we provided that admiration... and our man loved it! They never stared at other women (yes, those cheap ones who laugh at anything), they seemed interested in us and worked hard to keep us happy. But with time, they dwell on us less and less. We admire them less and less. And so the cycle begins until they dwell on someone else and we are left wondering why they changed.
As women, we don't have to wonder so much about the reason why men leave. Instead, if we can recognize some of the basics of the male ego, we can cater to it and at the same time alleviate our worry that they will eventually leave or lose interest in us. Of course, this takes a bit of work and a bit of skill, but once we understand the type and level of admiration our man prefers, we can deliver exactly what he needs. More importantly, our men will return this attention and treat us better as well. It's like they say, "treat others as you would like to be treated. - 15431
When we look at the reason why men leave, we need to take an introspective approach. But let's narrow down this "attention" term. No two men are the same, so realistically no two men crave the same type of attention. While some want respect and a lot of interest from a woman, most want flat-out admiration.
Okay, the first thing we need to determine about our man (or the man that has just left and we don't know why) comes down to attention. More specifically, the type of attention our man craves (or craved). Since we would have the odds on our side by going with admiration, it makes sense to start here. The next natural question then is how do we show men that we admire them? (Note: we don't have to admire them in the literal sense, we simply need to show them that we admire them... see the difference?).
Most women will come up with a grab bag full of excuses for the reason why men leave. Excuses like he liked it better when I wore more make-up (making him a superficial jerk), excuses like he preferred when I wore mini-skirts instead of baggy sweat pants (making him a pervert), excuses like he gets angry because I don't laugh at his jokes anymore (making him a bad comic), and so on. Coming up with these common excuses essentially allows us to shift the blame when, in reality, it was always a superficial, perverted jerk who couldn't put a joke together if it came typed on a cue card. But you see, he was always this way. And this is where we need to weigh whether fake-laughing at his jokes is really worth the effort in keeping him.
Staying on track with admiration, we can begin to understand why some men stray from the relationship and find interest in other women. Often, these other women lack our intellect (she giggles like a schoolgirl all the time), she looks she was hired by the hour (her outfits barely cover her undergarments), and she is either jail-bait, has had enough plastic surgery to provide toys for an entire third-world country, or wear more make-up in a single day than we use in an entire month. Of course, this generalization may seem unflattering (it is intentionally so) but this is how most women describe that "other" woman. We have all heard it.
Ultimately, the reason why men leave has more to do with their desires and cravings for attention, for admiration. At one point in time, we provided that admiration... and our man loved it! They never stared at other women (yes, those cheap ones who laugh at anything), they seemed interested in us and worked hard to keep us happy. But with time, they dwell on us less and less. We admire them less and less. And so the cycle begins until they dwell on someone else and we are left wondering why they changed.
As women, we don't have to wonder so much about the reason why men leave. Instead, if we can recognize some of the basics of the male ego, we can cater to it and at the same time alleviate our worry that they will eventually leave or lose interest in us. Of course, this takes a bit of work and a bit of skill, but once we understand the type and level of admiration our man prefers, we can deliver exactly what he needs. More importantly, our men will return this attention and treat us better as well. It's like they say, "treat others as you would like to be treated. - 15431
About the Author:
Samantha (Sam) Fulcher is the Relationship Advisor at The Match Maker Review. Join her Members Only Lounge. If you are looking for help getting back your ex, visit Help Get My Ex Back.
