Divorce is defined in the dictionary as "the separation of things that go together," although we commonly refer to it is the break-up of a marriage. Most people who are beginning the process of divorce find that it's quite a shock. Part of that shock comes from realizing that they were wrong about being so sure about the everlasting status of their marriage.
Some acquaintances who had gone through divorce were astounded by their feelings of failure. Others, such as me for example, had a different reaction to divorce than those with whom I conversed. The autonomy gained by ending my marriage was something I had thought of and wanted for years before telling my husband. When we finally had the discussion, I was not the one who was shocked. My husband was the one who was surprised by the thought of divorce.
The feeling of failure was because I thought I should have recognized before we married that my husband and I were actually not "things" that should go together. If we had both known this fact, we would have saved our families and ourselves a lot of misery and money.
As we did not have children, the circumstances surrounding our divorce were different from couples who did. Rather than feelings of failure and shock, I was overcome by a sense of tranquility when it was finally over. These feelings were most likely influenced by the fact that there were no children involved to complicate matters.
The outcome of the decision to separate has a huge impact on children that were not involved in the decision-making process. Conversations with divorced friends with children have shown that children have more difficulty dealing with divorce than spouses do.
With the exception of couples who marry for financial or immigration purposes, most people who decide to marry do so because they are sure they will be together for the rest of their lives. In reality, until you have lived together, you do not know if you belong together. As a matter of fact, my mother used to say you never actually know a person until you work or live with them.
After reading the divorce description in the dictionary, I do believe that one reason for divorce is that some people probably marry the one person they feel they go together with. Then, after living together, maybe even having children together, they find that they do not go together. Then they divorce. - 15431
Some acquaintances who had gone through divorce were astounded by their feelings of failure. Others, such as me for example, had a different reaction to divorce than those with whom I conversed. The autonomy gained by ending my marriage was something I had thought of and wanted for years before telling my husband. When we finally had the discussion, I was not the one who was shocked. My husband was the one who was surprised by the thought of divorce.
The feeling of failure was because I thought I should have recognized before we married that my husband and I were actually not "things" that should go together. If we had both known this fact, we would have saved our families and ourselves a lot of misery and money.
As we did not have children, the circumstances surrounding our divorce were different from couples who did. Rather than feelings of failure and shock, I was overcome by a sense of tranquility when it was finally over. These feelings were most likely influenced by the fact that there were no children involved to complicate matters.
The outcome of the decision to separate has a huge impact on children that were not involved in the decision-making process. Conversations with divorced friends with children have shown that children have more difficulty dealing with divorce than spouses do.
With the exception of couples who marry for financial or immigration purposes, most people who decide to marry do so because they are sure they will be together for the rest of their lives. In reality, until you have lived together, you do not know if you belong together. As a matter of fact, my mother used to say you never actually know a person until you work or live with them.
After reading the divorce description in the dictionary, I do believe that one reason for divorce is that some people probably marry the one person they feel they go together with. Then, after living together, maybe even having children together, they find that they do not go together. Then they divorce. - 15431
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