Arguably one of the most difficult things we will ever do in our lives is saving a relationship. These moments are highly charged with emotion and consequently we run the risks of saying and doing things that we will probably regret later. As such, we realize just how easily can we lose the person we love forever.
While caught up in the moment of emotions, we often do things that might feel right emotion, but are wrong tactically. The most relevant example right now is the stock market. While everyone is selling right now, we should really be buying, but because our emotions overrule our logic, we end up selling low like everyone else and experiencing a loss. In much the same way, phoning our ex and telling him or her how much we miss them and still love them might feel right emotionally, but it is the wrong thing to do tactically. Truth is, when it comes to saving a relationship, we need to take a counterintuitive approach.
I have previously written about accepting the break up decision. This is one of the first step steps to saving a relationship. Let your ex know that you accept the break up, that you appreciate how difficult the decision would have been but that you understand just how important your freedom is. Deliver the message with as positive an attitude as possible..
The next counterintuitive step involves cutting off communication with your ex. This will involved a great deal of difficulty on your part, but it will have two great results. The first is that it will give your ex time to miss you and think about the break-up. In particular, why you were so agreeable to the break-up. As well, your ex will wonder why you were so positive about the whole thing. Without communication, your ex will be left with an image of you, a free, positive single. And since is likely how you first met, your ex will naturally bring up memories about those "good ole times."
The second great effect is that your ex will stop thinking of the negative aspects of the relationship (as a sort of self-justification for breaking up in the first place) and will instead wonder about the happy and free single man/woman who hasn't returned his or her calls; this time alone will really let your ex miss you. Since your ex will have a positive image in mind, positive memories will flood the negatives ones and with no communication with you, your ex will wonder why they ever broke up in the first place. Now it will be up to your ex to take the steps necessary for saving a relationship.
The two counterintuitive steps above provide a basic foundation for saving a relationship. These steps are both difficult to take and require a fair amount of trust in the strength of your relationship. But if it's worth anything, consider that most folks are averse to change. It is in our nature to tolerate mediocrity in our relationship than to seek out someone new. - 15431
While caught up in the moment of emotions, we often do things that might feel right emotion, but are wrong tactically. The most relevant example right now is the stock market. While everyone is selling right now, we should really be buying, but because our emotions overrule our logic, we end up selling low like everyone else and experiencing a loss. In much the same way, phoning our ex and telling him or her how much we miss them and still love them might feel right emotionally, but it is the wrong thing to do tactically. Truth is, when it comes to saving a relationship, we need to take a counterintuitive approach.
I have previously written about accepting the break up decision. This is one of the first step steps to saving a relationship. Let your ex know that you accept the break up, that you appreciate how difficult the decision would have been but that you understand just how important your freedom is. Deliver the message with as positive an attitude as possible..
The next counterintuitive step involves cutting off communication with your ex. This will involved a great deal of difficulty on your part, but it will have two great results. The first is that it will give your ex time to miss you and think about the break-up. In particular, why you were so agreeable to the break-up. As well, your ex will wonder why you were so positive about the whole thing. Without communication, your ex will be left with an image of you, a free, positive single. And since is likely how you first met, your ex will naturally bring up memories about those "good ole times."
The second great effect is that your ex will stop thinking of the negative aspects of the relationship (as a sort of self-justification for breaking up in the first place) and will instead wonder about the happy and free single man/woman who hasn't returned his or her calls; this time alone will really let your ex miss you. Since your ex will have a positive image in mind, positive memories will flood the negatives ones and with no communication with you, your ex will wonder why they ever broke up in the first place. Now it will be up to your ex to take the steps necessary for saving a relationship.
The two counterintuitive steps above provide a basic foundation for saving a relationship. These steps are both difficult to take and require a fair amount of trust in the strength of your relationship. But if it's worth anything, consider that most folks are averse to change. It is in our nature to tolerate mediocrity in our relationship than to seek out someone new. - 15431
About the Author:
Samantha Fulcher is the Relationship Advisor at The Match Maker Review. For help getting your ex back, visit Help Get My Ex Back.
