A friend of mine is in dilemma right now. She met two men at the same time and she is dating both of them. One is a romantic and stereotypical individual who has all the fundamental principles in life where she can have all the security she needs once she marries him. The other guy is a divorcee but a warm, modern and happy guy whom my friend finds easy to be with and is actually beginning to fall in love with.
The problem with Alan, however, is that although his ex-wife is remarried, he still sees and supports her. Malen has told me that she would choose Alan over Melvin but wants him to stop having communication with his ex-wife. She feels that since their divorce is final, he shouldn't need to support her.
There is now a strain on their relationship since Malen has expressed her wishes to Melvin and he feels that Malen should understand and accept him. They clearly care for each other and don't really want to end things. When one of them would try to break it off, the other would argue not to give up and now it seems to be a cycle.
And when both of them (Malen and Melvin) are not in good terms, Malen will tell me that she would marry Melvin and it makes me really mat at my friend. I always admonish her to follow her heart and give an unconditional love towards Melvin.
I think that Malen is being selfish, especially since she just started a relationship and Alan was recently divorced. I think she should accept that Alan still has an attachment to his ex-wife, but he does want to change since the divorce is a done deal. Since time heals all wounds, Alan will soon be ready to give all of his love to Malen.
If only Malen can understand this and accept it, things should be better for both of them but she is very stubborn in her beliefs that Alan can only prove his love to her if he follws her demands. Now they just waste time on absurd disagreements when they know that they really like each other.
There are a lot of people who are in a similar situation. If there's just a little more understanding, real love can be attained. Malen and Alan can create memorable situations instead of destroying potential good situations if she lets Alan have his time. This applies to all relationships: understanding leads to clarity and growth. - 15431
The problem with Alan, however, is that although his ex-wife is remarried, he still sees and supports her. Malen has told me that she would choose Alan over Melvin but wants him to stop having communication with his ex-wife. She feels that since their divorce is final, he shouldn't need to support her.
There is now a strain on their relationship since Malen has expressed her wishes to Melvin and he feels that Malen should understand and accept him. They clearly care for each other and don't really want to end things. When one of them would try to break it off, the other would argue not to give up and now it seems to be a cycle.
And when both of them (Malen and Melvin) are not in good terms, Malen will tell me that she would marry Melvin and it makes me really mat at my friend. I always admonish her to follow her heart and give an unconditional love towards Melvin.
I think that Malen is being selfish, especially since she just started a relationship and Alan was recently divorced. I think she should accept that Alan still has an attachment to his ex-wife, but he does want to change since the divorce is a done deal. Since time heals all wounds, Alan will soon be ready to give all of his love to Malen.
If only Malen can understand this and accept it, things should be better for both of them but she is very stubborn in her beliefs that Alan can only prove his love to her if he follws her demands. Now they just waste time on absurd disagreements when they know that they really like each other.
There are a lot of people who are in a similar situation. If there's just a little more understanding, real love can be attained. Malen and Alan can create memorable situations instead of destroying potential good situations if she lets Alan have his time. This applies to all relationships: understanding leads to clarity and growth. - 15431
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