Most people have been through a break up at some point in their life. With many things in life they become easier the more you have to go through them, but break ups never seem to get any easier to go through.
Many people that go through a break up will desire to get back their ex, especially if they had strong feelings for their partner. If you have been in a relationship in which you had to endure physical, or verbal abuse, then you are much better off to let it end and never look to get involved with that person again. To go back into a situation like that, would be to invite the same type of treatment next time around. Consider yourself lucky to be out of the relationship.
Most relationships seem to follow a predictable pattern. When you meet initially, everything seems to be just wonderful and new. It seems your partner can do no wrong, nor can you in their eyes. Later on a certain amount of comfort settles in and you adjust to each other, then the trouble usually starts. When the newness of the relationship has faded away and the comfort is still there, then things will begin to change. The small things that once didn't bother you now become hard for you to overlook.
You have probably heard the saying: "Familiarity breeds contempt," Truer words could not have been spoken for relationships. This is the time in which the relationship will be put to the test. It takes a good deal of effort to keep a relationship going, but many times when things go wrong, instead of patching things up, the other person just wants to get out of the relationship completely.
If you are involved in a break up situation and you think that you would like to save the relationship, here are 5 steps that can help.
1. Apologize
If you feel that you have done something wrong you should apologize to your ex. Just make your apology once and then move on. Do not over apologize to the point of looking and sounding pathetic.
Sometimes when you admit fault it can lead to an argument, so don't let your ex bait you into another fight. If your ex brings something else up, just stay calm and don't get defensive. You must keep your emotions in check.
2.Talk things over
Take some time for the both of you to sit down and have a good talk. Never use your emotions to attempt to force your ex into this discussion. If they do not want to do this, then simply move on to the next step. If they do agree to the discussion you will want to stay calm and unemotional during the talk. Make sure your ex understands that the purpose of the talk is not to try to bring blame on them.
3. Give your ex some space
This will likely be a bit hard for you to do because it is counterintuitive to your emotions, but it is a critical step to take. This space will allow you and your ex to collect your thoughts. This will also give them the chance to miss you again. If you are trying to communicate with your ex constantly, then they will not have the chance to miss you and fully appreciate you.
4. Show your ex that you care about yourself
Don't just sit around home looking and feeling sorry for yourself. Show your ex that the break up is not the end of your life. Keep up your appearance, go out with your friends, go to movies, concerts, or whatever. Do things that demonstrate to your ex that you are not just waiting around for them like a knot on a log. Don't ever give the appearance of being a charity case waiting around for them all the time.
5. Its good for you to be unavailable to your ex
It is best to not be there sometimes when your ex calls. It will make them think about you and wonder what you are up to. Don't jump all over the cell phone when your ex calls. Let it go to the voice mail and then call them back the next day. Make it appear that you are busy and not jumping out of your shoes whenever you see their number show up on your phone. This is a counterintuitive, psychological tactic, but it can do wonders to make you look more attractive to your ex. This will increase the chance of you getting your ex back. - 15431
Many people that go through a break up will desire to get back their ex, especially if they had strong feelings for their partner. If you have been in a relationship in which you had to endure physical, or verbal abuse, then you are much better off to let it end and never look to get involved with that person again. To go back into a situation like that, would be to invite the same type of treatment next time around. Consider yourself lucky to be out of the relationship.
Most relationships seem to follow a predictable pattern. When you meet initially, everything seems to be just wonderful and new. It seems your partner can do no wrong, nor can you in their eyes. Later on a certain amount of comfort settles in and you adjust to each other, then the trouble usually starts. When the newness of the relationship has faded away and the comfort is still there, then things will begin to change. The small things that once didn't bother you now become hard for you to overlook.
You have probably heard the saying: "Familiarity breeds contempt," Truer words could not have been spoken for relationships. This is the time in which the relationship will be put to the test. It takes a good deal of effort to keep a relationship going, but many times when things go wrong, instead of patching things up, the other person just wants to get out of the relationship completely.
If you are involved in a break up situation and you think that you would like to save the relationship, here are 5 steps that can help.
1. Apologize
If you feel that you have done something wrong you should apologize to your ex. Just make your apology once and then move on. Do not over apologize to the point of looking and sounding pathetic.
Sometimes when you admit fault it can lead to an argument, so don't let your ex bait you into another fight. If your ex brings something else up, just stay calm and don't get defensive. You must keep your emotions in check.
2.Talk things over
Take some time for the both of you to sit down and have a good talk. Never use your emotions to attempt to force your ex into this discussion. If they do not want to do this, then simply move on to the next step. If they do agree to the discussion you will want to stay calm and unemotional during the talk. Make sure your ex understands that the purpose of the talk is not to try to bring blame on them.
3. Give your ex some space
This will likely be a bit hard for you to do because it is counterintuitive to your emotions, but it is a critical step to take. This space will allow you and your ex to collect your thoughts. This will also give them the chance to miss you again. If you are trying to communicate with your ex constantly, then they will not have the chance to miss you and fully appreciate you.
4. Show your ex that you care about yourself
Don't just sit around home looking and feeling sorry for yourself. Show your ex that the break up is not the end of your life. Keep up your appearance, go out with your friends, go to movies, concerts, or whatever. Do things that demonstrate to your ex that you are not just waiting around for them like a knot on a log. Don't ever give the appearance of being a charity case waiting around for them all the time.
5. Its good for you to be unavailable to your ex
It is best to not be there sometimes when your ex calls. It will make them think about you and wonder what you are up to. Don't jump all over the cell phone when your ex calls. Let it go to the voice mail and then call them back the next day. Make it appear that you are busy and not jumping out of your shoes whenever you see their number show up on your phone. This is a counterintuitive, psychological tactic, but it can do wonders to make you look more attractive to your ex. This will increase the chance of you getting your ex back. - 15431
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